Restless Ruminations in the Midst of Stillness

If you were to see me right now, I would appear as a statue, comfortably frozen atop our back patio furniture.  The sun is shining, a slight breeze is in the air, the birds are chattering and not a child is in sight.

This morning I had good intentions as I dropped the boys off at their camp.  I was going to donate blood, go to my yoga class and look for a new bike.  I have been sitting on the back porch for a few hours now, silent.  Before that I sat inside, motionless except for my spinning brain and bursting heart.  I keep thinking I should make use of this rare time without demands on me, but my body just won't move.  It is content to be still and to let the world move around me.  To stop and simply notice.  To pay attention.

As someone who has struggled and does struggle still with anxiety, I am always on the move.  Getting things done, checking them off my list and being on top of what is coming next has lent me a sense of control.  Many anxious people are calmed by a sense of control.  This year, however, I am spending time being in the moment and focusing on home.  On stopping and being with what is, grounding myself, checking in with my body and my mind to see what I truly need.  Simplifying.  Remembering what is truly important.  Not surprisingly, the less I do, the less I have to do.  The less I have, the less there is to take care of.  It is opening up these spaces in my life.  Space to simply be.  Space to do what makes me happy, what calls to me.  Space to pass time with my boys rather than rushing from one activity to the next.  Today it has given me the space to dream and to remember the importance of cultivating a life that is fully lived and full of love.

A life with these crazies is never dull. How I love my family...

Less is More: Belongings

As we enter into the third month of the year with my focus on home, I have noticed my trend toward less.  It naturally began with less 'stuff.'  Again, I went through the Konmari method and began critically evaluating my belongings piece by piece to see what was useful or brought me joy.  I have done this with clothes, books and paper before but it never fails to surprise me how much excess I really have.  The mental, emotional and physical space this frees up is incredible.  I liken it to stepping outside of a stuffy house and inhaling lungfuls of fresh air.  My senses become alive, my heart rate slows down and I breathe easier.  Spaciousness is something I have noticed really affects me, especially over the past few years, so limiting the amount of items I own has freed me in so many ways.  The less energy I invest in my things (purchasing them, cleaning them, storing them), the more energy I have for my people.  

Belongings

To further the movement toward minimalism, Marc and I have spent time discussing our purchasing patterns.  Do we need what we are thinking of purchasing?  Do we have something already in our house that serves the same purpose?  (Embarassingly, sometimes we already have what I was going to buy, but it was just stored somewhere I wasn't aware of.)  If we need to buy an item, how can we minimize the impact our purchase will have on the earth?  How can we live more sustainably?  

We are starting small - bringing our own reusable straws with us, continuing to use cloth napkins, sewing patches over the holes our boys inevitably put in every pant leg, drying my clothes on a rack instead of in the dryer, buying second-hand when possible...the list goes on.  As I continue the year of 'home', definitely less is becoming more.

A Day with a Personal Shopper

Recently I spent an afternoon with my friend Kelly as my personal shopper and style consultant.  The first time we met she had worked with two of my friends and neighbours and came highly recommended.  I had just had my second child and although I loved being pregnant and a mom, the changes my body had gone through were tough on my body image.  I gained many pounds with both  my pregnancies, but for some reason, was unable to get rid of the weight very quickly with my second.  I decided to embrace it and feel good about who I was becoming as a mother of two, and for me, this meant enjoying how I looked every day.  The next step was to buy some new clothes.  I no longer fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes but very little in my closet fit me or felt good.  Time to call Kelly.

At our first meeting Kelly took my measurements, talked to me about what styles I enjoyed, looked through my current wardrobe and made some suggestions as to what would both look good on me and what I should look for when I shop.  These guidelines were lifesavers and became incorporated long after our day of shopping together.

Fast forward five years.  I now had a sense of my personal style but my wardrobe needed an update.  Striving to become increasingly minimalist and environmental, I wanted to purchase some key items for my closet but with a focus on sustainability.  Kelly suggested a day shopping consignment stores on Main Street.  Perfect!  As I have never been a natural shopper and quite honestly saw it as a necessity rather than an adventure, Kelly was determined to change my perspective.

After our initial meeting to look through my closet again and create a desires/essentials list, the fun began.

Step One:  Research

As I have enough pieces of clothing as a whole, this was all about patience and clarity.  I had a list of items to search for and no real rush to find them.  In a world of instant gratification, this was a surprisingly satisfying piece of homework with future benefits.

• Kelly gave me a list of Instagram accounts and Facebook pages to follow for second hand items
• look for second hand Fluevogs (my shoe of choice), both online and in chosen consignment stores
• go to Anthropologie to try on and size some skirts to set myself up for second hand hunting

When I found possible items online, Kelly would walk me through the process of deciding if it was sound for purchase.

Step Two: Main Street

Our goals was to get to know and support local stores, particularly consignment, while seeing if we could find some good deals.  Here are a few of the stores we hit:  front and company, Fab Finds, The Main Exchange, Turnabout, and Shameless Resale.  

Highlights of the day:

• building my confidence to find pieces that would work with my current wardrobe and paying bargain prices for them; having a trusted second opinion is always great
• my options really opened up as we discussed the possibilities of layers.  Because Kelly knows my closet really well, she could share a variety of possible combinations and outfits
• Kelly told me what each item could be paired with or how it could be worn
• a lot of time was saved as we were both looking at the racks and she pulled options I wouldn't have considered

A note to stores:

• customer service at stores makes a huge difference; chatting with your clientele, taking the clothing to the change room for them...atmosphere and care for your clients makes me want to go back to some stores and not others

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day I had purchased some of my original list, a few extras that fit the criteria we had set out, and a few pieces I am still searching for.  However, I walked away with so much more knowledge and feeling good about being able to make ethical, sustainable choices with a more focused, patient and playful approach.  Thanks for a great day, Kelly!  If you haven't ever experienced a personal shopper and this is something that intrigues you, check out Kelly's website at kellyhenry.ca.