Where You Are Right Now: 2 1/2 years

You are...discovering your senses.  "Mommy, what's that smell?  Mommy, ask me what I'm looking at. "

You are...opening the fridge door to help yourself to yogourt tubes.

You are...getting through milk withdrawal at bedtime.  It makes for much better eating throughout the day, although you can't see the value in that yet.

You are...calling us Mom and Dad, rather than Mommy and Daddy, most of the time.

You are...currently obsessed with the Cars movie and would watch it every day if we allowed.

You are...rocking out to AC/DC music videos, with a headband and a guitar.  You have this great 'serious' expression on your face while you head bang and copy their moves.  I guess we'll have to begin looking for rock bands with more appropriate lyrics soon.

You are...ready for potty training, although you still like to be babied sometimes and changed on your change table.

You are...putting on your own bottoms from unders to shoes, taking off shirts and putting on coats - all by yourself!

You are ... beginning to try reasoning with us.  "Yes, Mommy, big boys can play with that VERY CAREFULLY." (while trying to get into my buttons, brads and tiny grommets, you cheeky one.)

You are . . . pulling out the dramatic crying to get what you want.  At least you come from the drama equally on both sides. :)

You are . . . so full of hugs and kisses.  I love it!

You are . . . very focused on taking care of your bear, aka little baby.  You put him to sleep, put  him in a blankie sling to carry him around, he goes potty with you and you even took him upstairs for a trip to the 'library'.  You keep asking me if I have a baby in my belly, and even if you can go back in my belly. Oh boy!

You have incredible sweetness and energy and a wickedly mischievous grin at times.  How we love you...

A Day in Your Life

Let's start off at the end of the prior day and work our way back...for some reason, our daily cycle seems to reset every night.

8 p.m.  I take you to brush your teeth and to go to the potty.  You always brush your teeth first, with your cool racecar toothbrush and then I get a turn to make sure we got all the corners.  Then, of course, you want your turn again, I'm pretty sure just because you like the taste of the toothpaste and want more.

8:10: You run out to your daddy, who has your milk ready and you both climb upstairs to your bedroom.  I stay downstairs and do a little work, listening to the laughter as you have fun reading books.  Finally, about an hour later, your daddy comes down as you are finally asleep.

Midnight: You yell "mee-ilk Daddy" loudly until Daddy rolls out of bed, changes your diaper from the loads of milk you had earlier and with luck, 15 minutes later you're asleep again.

5-6 a.m.: You yell "mee-ilk" Daddy, and often end up in our bed, cuddled up to Daddy or sprawled over Mommy, kicking me for more room.

6:30 - 7:30: somewhere in this time you are ready to wake up and go downstairs, where most days you watch the Backyardigans and eat breakfast on the couch while I get us ready for the day.  These days we take more time getting ready because you like to get dressed in your clothes, shoes and outerwear by yourself.

8:00: I drop you off at daycare, where you play with all your friends and actually take a nap...

4:30: I pick you up again at daycare, where you always run to me, tell me what you were just doing and automatically ask to go inside and have a cracker.  No matter what time it is, it is a ritual to have a cracker before we leave daycare.  You especially love the 'oval crackers' (Bretons) and the 'square crackers' (graham wafers).  You used to like the rectangle crackers (Stone Wheat Thins) until you realized the other ones existed.  We drive home, occasionally stopping at the grocery store on the way.

5:00: You play with your toys or help me cook dinner.  Then we eat.

6:00  We play with all your toys, do colouring or art upstairs until your daddy comes home. 

7:00 To much excitement, your daddy comes home and your both make lots of noise and have lots of fun until Mommy has to remind you that it is almost time to get ready to brush your teeth, and the routine begins again.

Good days, but fast.  How we all enjoy the weekends when we can spend more time together and rush less.

Snow Day: All is Well that Ends Well (a.k.a. Enjoy the Moments)

This past Saturday I 'booked' some time away from report cards to get a massage and to go visit my past student teacher who I haven't seen in over a year since her daughter was born.  Saturdays I get to sleep in, as Marc gets up with Kai, so the day started off well.  Of course, I was awake and up by 8 a.m., but stayed in bed to read a suspense book passed onto me from a colleague.

I leisurely get out of bed at 8:45, eat some breakfast and remember to check messages that have been on my phone since the day before.  One of the messages is from my massage and chiropractic office, confirming my 10:30 appointment.  Confused, I look at my calendar which says my appointment is at 9:30 as I had thought, and called the office to clarify.  Of course, the message said the office was closed until 10, so I chalked it up to writing down the time wrong.  Enjoying the extra hour I now had, I sat down to read a little more and play with Kai.  At 9:45 my phone rings ... it was the receptionist at the massage and chiro office reminding me that I was missing my 9:30 appointment!  I was SO frustrated!  I had waited a month for this appointment, that I was now missing and would have to pay for, and it wasn't my error.  Let's just say that the receptionist did not offer an apology, told me my massage therapist would call me back and still has not.  Let's just say that I cannot even begin to pick up the phone yet to call the office again, because my blood is still boiling.  I would like to take a moment here to say that normally this would not be such a big deal and I would let it go as a mistake, we all make them.  I have been going to this office for almost 7 years and both my practitioners made house calls in my postpartum days.  I love them.  But this week, mid-report card writing, with a month long wait to get in on this particular day and who knows when the stars will align again for such a visit...I am still having difficulty letting it go.

Next piece of the day...my friend did not show up for lunch, which I drove out to Surrey for and awoke my toddler for from a rare-occurring nap.  We sat calmly in the restaurant (yes, I did say restaurant, with my high-energy toddler) for half an hour until chaos broke loose.  Due to another miscommunication, we had a quick visit, as my little one had run out of calm and resorted to climbing over my back and repeatedly running out the front rotating doors of the restaurant.

To top it off, we drove home in the snow, hit some ice going very slowly, the car brakes locked and I rear-ended a car.  Attempting to be calm and act like this accident was no big deal in order to keep my son calm as well, I exchanged information with the other driver (who was very understanding) and we went on our way.  As the car's brakes locked once more in the next block, and we all know how narrow the side roads get with parking on both sides, I decided it would be the best for my nerves and the car if we ended our driving journey there.  So, we ended our adventurous day walking an hour home in the snow from where we had to leave the car.

Highlight of the story about to come...

The walk home was perfect calm.
Kai was so excited to play in the snow on our walk, with white flakes gently falling down.  He jumped to make footprints, he ran and played and was having a splendid time.  So I had one too.  So many days are so busy with doing, and my son reminded me of the pleasure in just being.  The quiet of the snow.  The opportunity to take pictures.  The time slowing down.  Before I knew it, we were a block away from home and for the first time, Kai wanted to rest.  So I bent down, picked up my son and cuddled him the rest of the way.  Thank you Kai for again showing me the importance of enjoying the moment.

Where You Are Right Now

So it has been months, perhaps longer since I have taken a moment to pause and take note of where and who you are.  2 years and 5 months:

• "My do it!"  You want to do everything by yourself, from choosing your clothes to wear for the day to attempting to pour your own milk from a full four litre milk carton.  So fun and amazing!
• "I did it!"  You are in the midst of learning to use the potty and are so proud of yourself when (after 40 minutes of us entertaining you in the bathroom) you finally succeed.  Two things are really keeping you on the training wheels: the reward stickers (bless Thomas the Train puffy stickers) and routine.  How you thrive in following routines...mixed with spontaneity and action, of course.
• Gymnastics...you are going to gymnastics every Sunday with Claire and Caitlin and you love it.  You also love the teacher Shaina, and during circle time you get closer and closer to her.  I am so proud of how well you listen and follow instructions during circle time.  You really want to do what you're supposed to be doing.  You are doing pike position, hanging upside down from the bar, swinging from the rings, walking on the balance beam and you LOVE jumping on the trampoline.  Every week you look forward to seeing your friends and going to 'nastics...your enthusiasm is incredible.
• down time...you don't nap when you're at home with us on the weekends or on holidays, but you've begun to enjoy quiet activities much more such as colouring, drawing and playing independently with your cars and trains.  It's wonderful to watch you in your stillness..
• make-believe...you are beginning to tell such wild stories, usually involving characters from books you've just read or videos like the Backyardigans or something you saw or heard during the day...of course we can only understand every third word as your excitement makes the words blend together, but you love to share your latest adventures...
• dress-up...it is obvious that most of your friends are females, for you love to put your hair in ponytails (3,4 or 5 at a time often) and dress up in princess dresses while playing at the Camps.  The other night Carmen was teaching you ballet and you were copying her every move.  You were having so much fun at your dance party.

There is so much more I could write and will write in the future.  You are full of energy and love going on any adventure we 'create', even if it is going to Rona to buy a new toilet.  You could go to bed as late as we are willing and wake up happy and raring to go even if you've slept minimal hours.  For you, sleeping is for sissies.  We love you so much and you make us laugh every day.

One Little Word: Return

This year I finally have the time to follow one of my scrapbooking gurus, Ali Edwards, on her yearly journey of One Little Word (http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/onelittleword.php.

A single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything. It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow. From my own personal experience, it can be a catalyst for enriching your life. 

I believe in the power of intention.  I believe that bringing myself back to one little word, like a mantra, can bring the word into more vivid focus.  This year I have chosen return.  These past few years have been a whirlwind of excitement and change.  From the entrance of our energetic little boy and the life transitions created through parenthood to the madness of completing graduate work while working, so much of my life has been about reacting and continually reorganizing to maintain a sense of order.  This year, I am choosing to return.

Choosing to return to what?  I am in the process of figuring that piece out still.  Luckily, with my grad work in the past and my Mondays a day to do with what I like, I have time for my thoughts and hopes and dreams to percolate.  Unlike the past years, I will be patient and allow for the words to come to me.  This is a lesson I have repeatedly learned from teaching, but for some reason have continued to struggle with as a parent.  With my students, I am very patient.  With my son, my patience seems to have been directly correlated with the amount of school work I brought home.  The more studying, preparation and marking I had to do, the less patient I was with Kai.  Now that I rarely bring home any work, my patience expands daily. Hmmm...

So, I am choosing to return to patience.  To letting go of time constraints...which perhaps is simply putting fewer 'events' into our calendar and allowing more time for play.

Ahhh, there's another one.  A return to play.  For me alone, with my husband, with my son and with our friends.

A return to girl-time.  

    to tea

          to face-to-face conversations 

to spontaneity

     

Note: 

okay, I was never really good at spontaneity, so I'm not really returning to it literally, but rather returning to the basic ability to make decisions along the way rather than having everything planned out on paper, on lists, in calendars.  I do not intend on giving this part up, as this is sort of a family trait - the list-making that is, but perhaps this sort of spontaneity has to do with returning to the basics.  Less planning, more enjoying the moments.

Hmm...right now I am going to return to my enjoyment of videos and books, and peace and quiet.  May you too have a moment to return to what brings you inner stillness and joy.

 

 

21st Century Mom

This afternoon upon departing from school my principal told me I looked like a 21st Century teacher...marking in one arm, snowboard in the other (we took our Grade Five kids up to Whistler the day before for skiing lessons and I had stored my board in his office).  On my way home I got to thinking about what it meant to be a 21st Century Mom.  Of course, this came to me while I was driving from work to daycare, then to the grocery store with Kai before heading home to clean the kitchen and make dinner.  All before Daddy gets home.  Perhaps the 21st Century Mom is a synonym for 'multi-tasker' or 'jack-of-all-trades' (sorry, I just couldn't write Jill-of-all-Trades there...just doesn't sound smooth).

Just as teachers' roles have expanded to include traditional parenting and community responsibilities, mothers' roles now encompass both the literal and metaphorical bread-making.  We have to be at the top of our game at both work and home.  This is not to say we have the short end of the stick, though.  Fathers too are taking on child-rearing and home-caring in addition to their days earning wages.  Although there is a greater balance between men and women in all these tasks than in the past, the shared workload rarely means a smaller workload.  Why is this?

For one thing, my family has chosen to live in an urban environment.  Yes, life costs more here than in the suburbs, but moreover there are more opportunities to purchase entertainment.  Many times I feel blessed to have access to such incredible cultural activities and to introduce my son to such a wide variety of experiences without traveling more than a short walk, bus ride or car ride from home.  Other times, I rue the lack of downtime that seems to be a normality that is created in city living. 

On another note, although the women's liberation movement has made women in the work force an acceptable occupational decision, in many cases it has not taken away the need for someone to fill the duties of the traditional housewife.  Taking care of a home and family is a full-time job.  Earning money to provide for a family and to take care of a home is a full-time job.  Sadly, one full-time income is frequently insufficient.  In comes the challenge of the modern day: how do all the tasks get completed and the responsibilities attended to by two people, when often three people are required?  One person to take care of the home and family, and two people to earn money to support the family.  A simpler lifestyle is a given option.

My challenge is not the income or choosing a simpler lifestyle...although those are both alternatives I need to give some serious consideration.  My challenge is that I love my profession, and I also would love to have more time at home to provide for my family in more basic ways: baking, cooking, cleaning, playing with and teaching my son, creating a home. I am forever indebted to the people who forged the way for women's 'liberation' and opened doors for dads to stay at home with their children, now if only someone could bend time so that I could have the best of both worlds...

Stitch by Stitch...

I will learn to sew, again.  My most poignant memory of sewing is from when I was in elementary school.  My Great Grandma Dot was visiting, as she did (in my recollection) about once a year.  She packed up her old beater truck and came out west.  She was a great character who had so much to teach, if only I would have been a better student.  So back to my memory...I came home from school with my best friend Sherry and was ready to play.  However, Grandma Dot was visiting, which always meant that I practiced a homemaking skill before playing.  Sometimes it was ironing, but often it was sewing.  I am pretty sure electric sewing machines existed then, but we had the old fashioned treadle sewing machine.  I have a vivid memory of the leather belt on the wheel.  I believe I even learned how to change the belt.

I imagine that I practiced sewing straight lines, but I cannot recall the projects, just the daily after-school practice.

So, I begin again and think of my Grandma Dot as I press the foot pedal on my electric sewing machine and practice sewing straight lines and test out the variety of stitch patterns that my machine offers with the turn of a dial.  I hope my son understands the importance of learning such skills from loved ones more than I did when I was a child.  For now I return to the daily lessons of years passed and memories cherished.