40 days. A yoga class on each one of them. Why? Partially because I always like a challenge, but mostly because it is good for me. As a good friend said when I was sharing that I was constantly trying to find balance in my life, 'If balance was easy, we would all have it.' My mind, like many, is constantly taking me in different directions. My goal is to focus on one thing at a time - at work, and at school. I know this is not easy, especially when I love doing so many things. I am a Libra, but rather than the complete balance the symbol seems to signify, I seem to do all or nothing, which I have told myself is one form of balance. I am excessively busy at some times, then all I want to do it curl up in my blanket and sleep, read or watch a movie.
On most days, in most moments, it is challenging to remember to do all the tasks I am continually asking myself to do. Yes, some of them are necessary, but some of them I just want to do because they make me a good person and I want to do nice things for others. For example, yesterday was the last day of work for one of my son's daycare teachers. All week the thought kept popping up in my mind to get him a nice gift as a token of my appreciation for helping Kai to become a happier, more resilient child. As I drove into the parking lot of daycare yesterday, it dawned on me that not only was it his teacher's last day, he was probably gone, but it didn't matter because I forgot to get a gift. Luckily, I know the centre to where he moved, and we will visit one day next week, but the point is that my mind and my life are too busy and it is time to quiet them down. I am hoping daily yoga practice will not only strengthen my body, but more importantly, quiet my mind and focus my thoughts.
Amidst the regular rush of teaching, parenting, maintaining a house, and trying to find some time for myself, my husband, my family and friends, I have just begun another journey. For the second time in 5 years, my husband and I are undergoing fertility treatment in order to have a child. For a reason unknown to us and our doctors, we have been unable to get pregnant and maintain a pregnancy. So in the next few months, it is critical that I am stress-free, or as close as I can be to this. Again, I return to the importance of quieting my mind. While practicing yoga, I have no choice but to only focus on the position at hand. It is fantastic. So, here we go...40 days of having a quiet mind for the better part of 75 minutes a day and building upon it. It will require commitment and support from friends and my husband, and I can't wait to see where this journey takes me.
Every night I go to bed, I have thoughts swirling in my head. Things to do. Scrapbook pages I want to create. Gifts I want to make. Skills I want to learn. And, of course, daily happenings that I don't want to forget, but invariably will by tomorrow morning, only to pop up in a random thought weeks down the road. So, here I am. I may use this blog daily to empty my head and heart before cuddling up in my duvet, or as it may be, I may write in it once a month. Who knows. It is for me, but perhaps something I write or learn may spark a fire in someone else. Perhaps it may quiet a mind or make you feel like you are not alone out there. It is for me. But perhaps it is for you.