Dear Teacher,
You are in the position of spending half of every day or more with my son. Your relationship with him is important - from how he views school and learning to how he feels about himself and others, and everything in between. We want for you to know him as we know him, special in so many ways.
Like all of us, Kai has strengths and challenges. As the adults guiding him through this life, I believe that it is our honour to show him the way not only with our heads, but more importantly, with our hearts. Kai has a huge heart, so he will understand you if you speak and act from yours. It is not easy as one adult in a room filled with up to 30 little ones, all needing your support and guidance, but because of that, your words are so much more full of meaning. Each word, each moment, each decision can have such a huge impact. We need to choose carefully.
There is so much to know about Kai. We need you to know how precious he is to us, and how important family is to him. Along with his brother, mom and dad, he is regularly surrounded by grandparents, aunties and uncles, and cousins. We are a family of educators, so learning and exploring are a part of Kai's life. He is curious about the world and is always up for an adventure.
That said, school has not always been easy for Kai. He loves to socialize and is a sweet and endearing child who easily gets along with everyone. Although this is one of his greatest strengths and will bring him success in so many ways, it is not always seen as such in a traditional classroom. It can often get in the way of his ability to hear and follow instructions, and can distract him from his work. Kai's intentions are good, as he has always been a pleaser. He wants to do the right thing, but needs caring and consistent adult support to understand what that is and to follow through on expectations. He needs clear, step-by-step instructions written out for him and work broken down to make it seem do-able or he becomes easily overwhelmed.
Kai is full of life, so full of life that it often overflows in an abundance of energy and emotions. He loves to have fun, to laugh and to make others laugh. There is not a day that we aren't in stitches because of some antics he has gotten up to. He loves to work with his hands and create. He loves to move and to express himself, often not even needing an audience but rather a place to process his thoughts. He also has a hard time managing this energy and emotion, particularly when his hopes and expectations do not align with those of others and he is caught unprepared.
Kai has really grown in the past year, particularly outside of school in his level of confidence, and we are so proud of the risks he is beginning to take, especially as we believe that this is oh-so-essential to learning and growing. His confidence surrounding his ability to succeed academically, however, has taken a huge hit this year. So much so that he has begun asking for days at home, both for a break from the constant demands that he can't manage alone and to catch up on the work he is unable to complete both at school and at home in the evenings. It breaks my heart but I am also proud that he is advocating for himself; not looking for an escape away from his responsibilities, but a better way to manage them alongside his mental health.
As an educator and a parent, I am a huge believer in life balance. With a rise in child anxiety, it is time to dial back on what we expect children to do. Yes, we need to build resilience, but we also need to go deep rather than fast or hard. School work is primarily their 9 am to 3 pm responsibility. So much valuable learning happens outside of school, and I believe that we have to make time for fun, play and family life as well. This is clearly backed up by research.
Because Kai has ADHD, he has trouble completing work on his own in class. As such, an excessive amount of family time both throughout the week and on weekends is dedicated to him working on school assignments. Our family is lucky. As part of my job, I am very familiar with adaptations and accommodations that can be made to support diverse learning needs, so can advocate for Kai. I am willing and able to create tools, strategies and checklists to help Kai learn to self-regulate but also to become a more independent, confident and successful student. Please, use me. Meet with me so we can brainstorm and prepare for Kai's learning. Use what I create for him if it helps any others in your classroom as well. We know teaching is not an easy job and we want to make it easier for everyone. We will do anything for our children, so you will regularly see notes from us and we will be a presence in their learning. Please take this as a good thing. We love our children and we believe in education. We want to help.
Teacher, we know some days will be more challenging than others. On those days especially, remember that Kai is doing the best he can. Give him more positive feedback than necessary, lots of space and care and kindness, and remember that he is human like the rest of us. He is on a journey and the more love he gets, the better.
