For today: September 9, 2012

Outside my window...the grape vine is in full growth surrounding our back porch and our pear tree is bearing fruit.

I am thinking...way too much!  September is always intense at work, plus transitioning back into meal planning, daycare pickup and a fitness routine the works with these...my mind is a whirlwind. 

I am thankful for journals and lists, and nighttime when Marc is putting Kai to sleep and I have a few minutes of quiet.

From the kitchen...a full freezer including muffins and cookies to thaw out on the go, and an empty fridge until my weekly shop later today.

I am wearing...the usual when I finally have time to sit down and write.   I tend to slip into sweatpants and a tshirt on weekend morning and weekday evenings.

I am creating...nothing particularly inspiring right now, sadly.  Mostly schedules and plans to help me find pockets of peace in a crazy month.

I am going...to KidsBooks today!  Yes, I am going for work, but without doubt I will get a book for Kai and maybe another as books are to me like coffee is to others.

I am reading...cookbooks, school worksheets, notes and textbooks, and Blood, Bones & Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef by Gabrielle Hamilton.  Quite good.

I am hoping...every day I can find just a few minutes to write, daydream, or plan something fun. (And that one day, I return to adding pictures to this list.)

I am hearing...how important it is for me to spend time just being.

Around the house...for once, it seems almost everything is where it needs to be, with the exception of laundry waiting to be folded, but I like doing that.  Not everything is perfect, but I am feeling pretty good about it!  How novel.

One of my favourite things...is getting up early, feeling totally rested and the house is quiet for a good half-hour.  Luxurious.

A few plans for the rest of the week...a good run or workout (maybe two?), Kai's first hip hop class, Sarah McLaghlan concert on Saturday and Carrie's baby shower on Sunday. 

Making a Change: My Sous-Chef

Growing up I don't remember doing a lot of cooking, or even being interested in watching my Mom do the cooking.  At one point I recall we each had to cook dinner for the family one day a week, but I do not remember it lasting very long.  In fact, what I do remember is making spaghetti with a can of spaghetti sauce (gourmet, I know) and trying to make hot dogs but forgetting to put water in the pot.  These poor attempts at food creation could most likely be attributed to the fact that I have never really enjoyed eating food either.  Yes, I like food, and some food I like more than others, but food has always been more of a necessity than a luxury for me.  I eat because I'm hungry, not because I crave the experience of eating.  In fact, until I was married (and even on a great level, then) I could have eaten pasta or rice and a corresponding sauce day in and day out.  I was a lazy cook because I could be and did not desire anything more elaborate than pure sustenance.

Now speed ahead to the birth of Kai. I have always felt more accountable for Kai's diet than I even did my own.  Over the past 3 1/2 years, I have been on a slow and steady learning ascent to ensure I am providing healthy, balanced, earth-friendly meals.  This in itself has been a challenge for me: a challenge to find the time to plan and shop for the meals; a challenge to focus enough to be able to follow the recipes correctly while Kai is fighting for my attention to play with him; a challenge to make it interesting enough that the process does not become a chore.  It been inevitable that some days we eat perogies or pasta with Kai's 'favourite sauce' (alfredo) with a side of raw veggies or steamed broccoli, but he is happy with that and I keep my sanity, so it works nicely for us. 

Although it does not always appear this way, especially when Kai is demanding his time with me (which, honestly, I mostly feel he has a right to after a long day at daycare), I realize how lucky I am with Kai's orientation to food.  Mostly, he will eat or at least try anything.  Our rule of eating at least three bites of everything on your plate seems to work for him, and he eats almost every vegetable we put on his plate.  No, he isn't perfect, and I have yet to find a way to prepare lettuce or green beans in a way that inspires him to voluntarily eat them, but he is only three and has lots of time to grow into liking them (or not).  Let's be real, to this day I still cannot fathom the idea of eating peas.



Tastes aside, learning about growing food and cooking it seems to be a journey Kai has been on with me from the start.  From beginning to grow food in our own yard

to helping me with canning,

to picking fresh berries for baking together,
we are creating a good relationship with healthy food. 


This excites me.  After watching Jamie Oliver speak about the overall lack of knowledge about 'real' food, I am feeling confident that my child will be part of the positive statistics rather than the student who is unable to identify a simple vegetable.

However, last night was one of those moments that made me stop and fully appreciate how amazing Kai is.  After a long day, he came into the kitchen with me and walked through every step of making a salmon dinner.  He looked at the pictures in the cook book (thank you SO much for the photographs of each step, Jamie Oliver...perfect for cooking with a child), and told me which ingredient to use next, where to put it, and physically made the dinner with me.  Complete patience.  Complete interest.  Complete focus.  I cannot wait for more of these moments.  Somehow being on the journey with Kai makes learning more fun.

A Splattering of Kai's beginnings

In cleaning out my work room and reorganizing to make more room for Kai's belongings, I came across a calendar with notes about Kai's first months.  In order to find them again, I will post them here.  This is purely for me (and my sisters when they start asking me when Kai did things, as to compare their kids :) ).

BIRTH:

Date: August 31, 2008
Place: B.C. Women's Hospital, Vancouver, B.C.
Time: 7:57 a.m.
Weight: 7 pounds 1 ounce
Greeted by: Mom and Dad, and within minutes, Grandma and Grandpa.  Then before you left the delivery room, all your aunts and uncles were there to meet you.

SEPTEMBER

First bath: September 1st by a nurse,  not our plan
First day home: September 3rd

6th-cheered on Auntie Kelly in the Weekend to End Breast Cancer
17 - 8 lb 7 oz.
24 - 9 lbs
29 - first real tears

OCTOBER

1 - focusing eyes more
14 - 10 lbs 5 oz.
15 - fell asleep by self for 1st time, for only 10 minutes
     - went to Movies for Mommies with me and Auntie Kelly
17 - first 'conversation'
31 - 11 lbs 11 oz; height - 61 cm (90th percentile)

DECEMBER

1 - said mom
2 - first laugh
15 - easily rolls onto side
18 - rolled onto stomach from back
19 - first cold
21 - rolled onto back from stomach

JANUARY

5 - second shots; 15 lbs 7 oz.
15 - sick again with stomach virus

For Today: April 29, 2012

Outside my window . . . green is everywhere, decorated with buds ready to bloom and spring colour.


I am thinking . . . I might try driving for the first time in a week and hope my neck can handle it.  I'm ready to get things done.

I am thankful for . . . weekend morning movies.  Kai loves the treat and I love the me time.  I like the feel of everyone being in one place, but each in our own worlds. 

From the kitchen . . . a lemon meringue pie waiting to be made, my first attempt.

I am wearing . . . jeans, a long-sleeved tshirt under a short sleeved, flowy, knit sweater, and of course, my slippers.

I am creating . . . scrapbook pages that have been awaiting completion for quite some time.

I am going . . . to the grocery store to get prepared for our weekly menu, to Ikea for supplies for an art-hanging line for my office, and to Costco to pick up pictures for Project Life.

I am reading . . . Ali Edwards Life Artist.

I am hoping . . . that I remember to do a Mother's Day project with my class.

I am hearing . . . the final music to Cars 2.

Around the house . . . lots of shoes, and an unusual amount of quiet.

One of my favourite things . . . a nice cup of Earl Grey tea in a pretty mug.

A few plans for the rest of the week . . . Carolyn is coming for dinner on Monday night, three chiro appointments and Tuesday at home with my munchkin.

Teacher Thanks Christy Clark

Written before the passing of Bill 22...

Yes, you read that correctly.  Never did it cross my mind that I would be saying thank you to the same person who is the reason I am on strike this coming Monday.  I am not thanking her for Bill 33.  I am not thanking her for refusing to agree to mediation.  I am not thanking her for her net zero policy.  I am thanking her for being the impetus for a very valuable conversation I had with my students today.  Now Premier Clark, please do not get carried away and quote me as a teacher who appreciates the role you play in educational change - yet.  Rather, your government and your stance during these negotiations, if we can call them that, opened discussions about the very values we pride ourselves on as Canadians - freedom and democracy.

Now, it is true, we are lucky to live in a country where these words even ring true at all.  However, without biasing my students my stance in this particular struggle, I try to open them to how important it is to stand up for our rights when we think they are being threatened, in order to protect their sanctity. After covering the basics of the dispute from both sides in an effort to be as unbiased as possible, for my students deserve this, these are the questions they had:

• Didn't the people in government go to school?  Don't they know how important schools are?

• How can the government say they don't have enough money for education when we pay taxes?

• Don't the people in government have children?  If they do, do they not care about their children's futures?

•  Are universities on strike too?  Why not?

• Can we go to private schools while you are on strike?

• Can we go on strike with you?

• Can PM Harper do anything [about our schools]?  How about in Ontario?

This was just the beginning, so thank you Christy Clark.  I can't wait for the discussions now that Bill 22 has passed and students will not only hear what the Bill means, but to live it.  

Wandering Day

This looks like a perfect start to a wandering day...

I subscribe to a newsletter from one of my favourite artists, Ali Edwards, called 52 Creative Lifts.  She recently wrote about The Fine Art of Wandering, in which she quoted from a children's book Best Friends For Frances by Russell Hoban.

"Let's play baseball," said Frances.

"I can't," said Albert.

"Today is my wandering day. "

"Where do you wander?" said Frances.

"I just go around until I get hungry," said Albert. "Then I eat my lunch."

As a planner, this might be stressful for me, but it sounds fun, so maybe I'll give it a try...
Have you ever just wandered?
 

Letting Go...

This past week I have been nursing a 'stuck' neck. As recommended, I have stayed home and rested for five days now, in addition to going to a daily emergency chiropractor appointment.  I am not good at resting on command.  Unable to turn my neck and with a constant headache, my days have been mostly watching videos and thinking about how much I could be getting done if I could only ignore the pain.  On the third day of treatment, my chiro worked pretty hard on me with many adjustments alongside massage of areas that were refusing to let go without some help.  At the end of the treatment I was quite emotional, feeling frustrated with my body and my inability to move along the healing any faster.  I needed to feel some light at the end of the tunnel, some relief from the physical and emotional tension.  I asked if there was anything I could do to relieve the headaches or speed up recovery, and after a few basic reminders about ice and water intake, Dr. J. said what I needed to do was to rest.  To let go.

Letting go.  A practice in which I am not very skilled. I like to have plans, lists, projects.  I like to be in control.  I am a teacher and our lessons, our units of study, our teaching strategies, they all need to be planned in advance.  In taking on the uncomfortable role of the primary cook for our family after our child was born, I set up a plan.  A system.  I have no problem if the plan needs to be changed last minute, I'm quite flexible, but I always feel more relaxed with a plan in place, just in case I need it. Type A? Perhaps.  Anxious? Without some control, yes.  So this letting go business is hard for me.

As I walked home from my appointment, I started to give thought to what I would do...how I could plan to let go. (No, the irony is not lost on me.) So yesterday (day 4) I spent the day watching more movies and staying on the couch in an attempt to do nothing.  I woke up this morning feeling looser physically and more relaxed.  I was busier than I should have been today, and on the computer a fair bit which I know is not great for my neck, but I'm taking it one day at a time.  I'm learning how to find a place for my active mind and body and still feel rested.  Have some control without letting it control me.  I'm musing on the meaning of 'letting go.'  Letting go, what does it mean to you?