A New Chapter

Kai turned 5 and has started Kindergarten.  Nico is 12 days old.  Thanks to my amazing husband, I am actually awake enough to write.  To say it has been an interesting few weeks is an understatement.  I remember so much about having a newborn baby, yet at the same time I seem to remember so little.  So much is the same as with Kai, yet so much is amazingly different.  It makes me wonder how much my two wonderful boys will share in terms of appearance and personality.

Thus far, despite their almost identical appearance and appetite, Nico is as chill as Kai is excitable - both in the womb and out.  However, I don't mean to go on about comparisons as much as reflect upon the change this will bring to our lives.  Already I have noticed how much more accepting I am about the time and attention demands of a newborn that so easily frustrated me the first time around.  The 45-minute rocking that leads to a half hour nap, with a wake-up in the middle.  The continual cycle of feed, rock, short sleep, soothe.  I suppose I have gotten used to the constant needs of a little boy with Kai and have become much more relaxed myself in all areas of my life.  I am also becoming more willing to let go of the way things 'should be.'  Not completely, as I am a personal of routine and schedule by nature and like things organized and predictable, but I am learning.  Whereas with my firstborn, his constant needs frustrated me and made me feel trapped, I am learning that for this year, the only job I have is to be a mom.  To enjoy hanging out with my boys, whether that may be continuous hours of holding Nico while he sleeps or taking some time out to have cuddles or playtime with Kai.  It is rare to get such focused time and although I am used to multitasking and having time for myself on a nightly basis in some form or another, with Kai about to start full days at Kindergarten I will have time to enjoy the warmth of a sleeping baby on me without rushing to get things done.  I am trying to remember that everything else will wait until my wee one learns how to sleep alone and play independently for short periods of time.  With Kai, I wanted to rush to have some sense of control again, but perhaps this time I can surrender to the roller coaster ride of parenting a newborn.

Another huge area of awareness for me is how much community support makes a difference.  I have always valued my family and friends, but with the addition of a baby to an already incredibly active 5 year old who is used to being the center of our lives, I treasure every meal that gets dropped off at our house and every offer of a play date.  In fact, I wish I had had a second child before my friends were all having theirs, as I definitely did not understand the simple ways that I could have made their days smoother.  To all my incredibly thoughtful friends and family, thank you so much for all you do.  I love you all so much.

While being grateful for those living outside my house, I would be enormously amiss if I did not pause to appreciate my incredible husband.  Throughout my pregnancy he allowed me to take care of myself in so many ways.  I went to multiple yoga classes every week, had time to go for dinner and dates with my friends, I traveled and every weekend, he took Kai on a lengthy adventure to give me and my growing baby time to rest.  I feel so much stronger physically, mentally and emotionally after birthing Nico in large part due to Marc's willingness to let me do what I needed to do.  In the past few weeks he has also taken on nighttime feedings and supported me in my decision to bottle-feed, in order to preserve my physical and mental health.  As anyone reading this probably knows, I struggled with both unbearable pain breastfeeding and with postpartum depression after my first child. Although few people seem to really understand my decision to use formula with Nico (and for some reason, people seem quite comfortable making a judgement), Marc has supported me 100% as he understands my decision was made with my family in mind.  I could never express how much this has meant to me.

This is a time of change for Kai as well.  Ending daycare, starting Kindergarten, house renovations and a new baby brother all in the span of a few weeks.  All things considered, he is handling it fantastically well.  Yes, he feels a little house bound and is having to adjust to entertainment from the couch while we feed Nico.  Yes, he is not listening as well and his behaviour has become increasingly rude and defiant.  The number of times he has muttered 'stupid' to himself and ignored what we have told him to do can no longer be counted on both hands.  However, he has been an excellent kid for so many years, allowing us to almost completely skip the terrible twos, threes and fours and dramatic tantrums that I often hear about from my friends.  He has always been happy, enthusiastic, easygoing and easy to distract.  As much as we are frustrated by him right now, he is just as frustrated with us.  Perhaps it is my experience as a teacher or a the new found sense of calm that yoga has brought to my life, but I have faith that with some time, a lot of love and the continuation of clear values and boundaries, we can all work through this transition together.

Nico: The Story of Your Birth

What a precious little bundle you are.  It was not an easy entry into the world for you, but we are so glad you have joined us.

It was a relatively easy pregnancy with you.  You were a very chill baby who preferred to roll rather than kick for most of the 9 months.  Unlike your brother, you did not wake up just as I laid down to sleep, but seemed relaxed.  Although I did not sleep much at night, it rarely seemed to make me tired during the day and I still had enough energy to keep up with your big brother, do yoga multiple times a week and visit with friends and family.  I am thankful for this as it seems that this energy has stayed since your arrival.

Your ability to be laid back in utero perhaps is what prompted you to hang out inside me for a good week past your due date.  You surprised everyone by this, as second children are often born earlier than the first.  So, a week after your were due to join us, I met my midwife Annie at the hospital to do some tests to ensure you were still thriving.  After being hooked up to the fetal heartrate monitor for almost the necessary 20 minutes, your heart rate plummeted down to the 70s, which put everyone on alert.  I had to stay on the monitor for another few hours just to make sure you were okay - which you appeared to be.  However, because of this drop and the fact that I would be induced in three days anyway, it was suggested that I remain in the hospital and do an oxytocin challenge test.  This basically gives me contractions and checks that you will be able to endure labour.  You pulled through the test with flying colours, but we decided to be induced so I was given prostoglandin and send home 11 hours after arrival. 

That night I slept a luxurious six hours before waking up and feeling some minor contractions begin.  I finally texted my midwife around 11 a.m., saying my contractions were close together and she agreed to meet me at the hospital to check if I was dilating yet.  By 11:10 your Grandma and Grandpa had arrived to take care of Kai and your dad and I rushed to the hospital.  By the time we arrived I was 7 cm dilated and in full labour.  As the labour was progressing so quickly I was not able to get any painkillers beyond nitrous oxide.  Although you only took two hours to join us from this point, it was a tough two hours for both of us.  We were both willing and working hard, but you had the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck twice which kept making your heart rate plummet but it was slow to return to normal.  When my water finally broke they had to bring in a OB-GYN and when I looked up at one point the room was filled was all kinds of medical staff.  It seemed like there were over a dozen people there, so I knew it was serious.  After the doctor attempted a vacuum delivery and then having to use forceps, you finally joined us, happy and healthy.  It took a few hours for the doctors to make sure that both of us were alright and for my arms to stop shaking from adrenalin so I could hold you.  Luckily, your dad, grandma and grandpa all got to spend that time cuddling with you and getting to know you.  I am so glad you were, and always will be, surrounded by family.

After a restful, quiet night in the hospital, the next day we finally got to bring you home.  What a loving, sweet bundle you were.  Welcome to our family, little Nico.

Today:: July 25, 2013

Outside my window... is a freshly cut lawn, a bucket of water with assorted squirt guns ready to go, and a beautiful sunny day.

I am thinking... that it would be nice to sit outside and write this, but the battery on my laptop doesn't work properly.

From the kitchen...oh, our beautiful kitchen.  Newly renovated, with a long open counter top, and a pristine cook top and built-in oven.  From the kitchen comes peace and possibility.

I am wearing... a comfortable khaki skirt and a bright maternity shirt that sits snug across my bursting belly.

I am creating... time to write and reflect in the few moments when my head seems to be clear and my space quiet.

I am also creating...decorations and paraphernalia for Kai's birthday - glow-in-the-dark slime, ooze, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pinata, treat bags...

I am going... to get a long overdue pedicure today.  Aaahhhh...

I am reading...very little right now.  I just got a set of Lisa See books that I would like to start and am listening to an audiobook, but mostly I'm just getting things done and resting in turn.

I am hoping...that I get a few more weeks to enjoy the peace and ease of a beautiful summer before our sweet new little one comes along.

I am hearing... very little.  A great sign.

Around the house...Kai's party preparations on the go, the kitchen awaiting a few paint touch-ups and a pendant lamp before the renos are officially complete, more organization than I have felt in a long time.

One of my favourite...moments is carving out some time to write.  I wish I was in the mental space to do it more regularly.  Often my pregnancy brain is fuzzy, as I expect again my new mommy brain will be soon enough.  Just a moment here or there to think about and appreciate the little things and people surrounding me.

A few plans for the rest of the week... a positional ultrasound to tell where this little one is laying, baking cupcakes, a backyard party.  How I love summer!

Vegucated

Last night I watched an hour long documentary on Veganism.  The producer challenged three New York City residents to take on becoming vegans for six weeks.  As I watched it, I began to remember why I make some of the choices I do and I was challenged to further consider adopting even better eating habits. 

This was not the first such documentary I have watched.  I have seen Forks Over Knives, Food, Inc. and many similarly-themed videos and TED talks.  We have long tried to purchase ethical food, organic fruit and vegetables and non-medicated, free range meat.  We rarely eat red meat, and since Kai's birth, we definitely have taken strides to eat more balanced, vegetable-inclusive meals.  Do I occasionally still get tempted by the great bargain meat at Costco? Absolutely.  Do I still enjoy dairy in all its forms?  Yes.  However, Vegucated has made me reevaluate these choices.  Do we need dairy in our diets?  I still need to see the research.  Are copious amounts of soy-based products to replace meat and dairy healthy?  Again, need to check into this.  I want to make conscious choices and I appreciated the brain-rattling that documentaries give me.

Many things these days seem out of our control.  From the installation of new Smart meters to the 'cleanliness' of the air we breathe, our environment is affected by each and every one of our decisions.  We do many little actions on a daily basis that help or harm our surroundings.  In becoming more aware of my actions, I will continue to strive to understand the effect of our food on our bodies, animals, and the environment step by step and continue to slowly make positive changes to my habits.  Do I always make the perfect choice? Absolutely not, but I do my best with the knowledge and tools I have.

Proud Mama

The little moments sneak up of me.  The moments that are unexpected.  The ones that make me so proud.  Perhaps I don’t give Kai enough credit, or perhaps I have seen him around water so much that I make assumptions.  Kai has never been a water baby.  At 4 ½ he still doesn’t like to get his face wet in the shower.  So imagine my surprise and awe when he put on his swimsuit at our place in La Mesa and joined Oliver (and their daddies) in the swimming pool.  Once he found that kickboard, he was happy as a clam, splashing around and playing.  And then the next day, going on a water tube ride at Sea World.  Followed up by a roller coaster at Legoland! 

Kai has always been adventurous, but now there is no question that I am more nervous for him than he is...

I am so proud of you, my little guy.  Keep stepping into adventure.

Ben and Kai

Ben and Kai...I don't know what it is with these two boys, but they just have to be friends.  They met when they were one year old at Playhouse daycare centre, spending every weekday together for almost two years.  When Ben left to go to his new daycare, Kai was beside himself and had a really had adjustment.  It is like Kai thinks Ben is his brother, and he definitely calls Ben his best bud.  Since leaving Playhouse almost two years ago now, they only have the opportunity to see each other every few months at most.  Days and months just get busy until Kai cuddles up to me one day with a sad face and says he misses his Ben.  So Tammy and I get on email or the phone and set-up a playdate.  As Ben lives now with his family in Coquitlam, it is a little more challenging to get together, but it is worth it to see them run and give each other a giant hug as if they haven't seen each other in years.  I don't know what it is with these two boys - they laugh, they share without fuss, they run around like tornados and couldn't be happier together.  I haven't yet had to step in to stop fighting or tears as they get along like two peas in a pod.  Who knows what the future will bring, but for now I wish them many more years of such a simple, easy friendship.  As Kai said in his email to Ben, "Kai loves Ben.  Ben is my best buddy."

A Conversation with Kai

After seeing this on Ali Edwards' blog, I had to try it.  It's not as pretty as hers, but it serves the same purpose.

Kai at 4 1/2 years old



My favourite food is:  pineapple

My favourite movie is: Transformers (note: He has never actually seen this movie.  I think it is Cars 2.)

 
My favourite cartoon: Finn McMissile (note: This means Cars 2.  His current favourite cartoon seems to be Pound Puppies.)




The coolest person on Earth is: Ben

My favourite thing to do at daycare is: play outside and inside

The thing I do that is most awesome is: wrestling

If I could change my name it would be: Kai Ninja (note: recent fascination with Ninjago)

My favourite place to go: everywhere

My favourite colour: red (see Ninja note above.  The red ninja's name is Kai.)

When I grow up, I'm going to become a: red ninja

The rule of my parents I like the least is: time out for not listening

My favourite music is: Beastie Boys and the Police

My favourite books are: the Ninja books

Words that describe me: marvelous

When I was little, I used to: be hungry and thirsty

My favourite season: Valentine's

My favourite snack: chocolate

The food I do not like is: onions

My best friend: Ben

If I had one wish, it would be: to get an Ironman suit

My best memory is: tickles