Kai Right Now

My loving Kai,

Here is a brief snapshot of you today:

1. You are all over the place right now trying to figure out boundaries and emotions. 

2.  "I feel sad."  About so many things, but mostly when you do not get what you want: dessert when you have not eaten much dinner; video time when you have had an hour already; a play date when we just came home from one...and then the usual sad-making stuff such as getting hurt or seeing others get hurt.

3.  Testing to see if when one adult says no then perhaps the other will say yes.  Hint: We know what you are doing!

4.  Defiance:  "I don't want to.  I'm not going to."

5.  Lying: telling us you have flushed the toilet and washed your hands when obviously you have done neither; toys that are appearing in your pocket after school that your teacher 'said you could have'.  Hmmm....

6.  Play dates, play dates and more play dates.  You can never have enough in a day.

7.  Obsessed with videos and video games.  Okay, we may have played a part of this one.  Between your gaming dad and a mom with a newborn, the more video time you get, the more you want.

8.  Incredible imagination.  Between the journal writing at school and the story telling at home, you never cease to amaze me.  Often right now you are playing with your stuffy families and making up stories about their lives.  I LOVE it.

9.  Bike riding...for fun, you can't get enough.  You and your dad have had a few guys days bike trips up to Mount Seymour and you can ride forever.

10.  Helpful.  You are always and have always been so willing to help.  Yes, you have to be reminded to put away your things and pack up your plate and cup after dinner, but you also make sure to contribute on your own.  Either way you are learning to be part of the family in more ways. 

11.  Loving.  This never changes even now, in your first real boundary-pushing stage.  I love that about you, my wonderful boy. Keep this quality forever.

Kai is Thankful For...

I am thankful for my mom because she has babies.
I am thankful for my dad because he wrestles.
I am thankful for Nico because he is sleepy.

(I forgot to write the beginning for this part, so I assume it is why we are thankful for Kai)

I share pets.

I am taking care of my pets.
I am able to wash dishes.

I am thankful for my friend because they share toys with me.
I am thankful when they let me go on their skateboard.

Saying Yes: Day Two - My Boys

Thank you for this moment...both boys chilling.  Kai painting, Nico checking out the lights.  Followed by reading two books together.  Perfect

Saying Yes: Day Three

Another day has come and gone, moments have passed and lessons have been learned...

Today the theme seemed to be 'reinventing life'.  Every major change in our lives brings with it the necessity to reflect upon what is truly important and to define priorities each new moment.  For that is what life seems to be...a series of moments that subtly (or not so subtly with a newborn) reshape our entire existence. Sometimes the path is clearly defined, but more often it is like trying to look through your windshield in a rainstorm to find the road ahead.

The first moment noticed today was very early, starting at 3:30 a.m. and lasting until 7...I am learning that moments vary in length.  Nico was awake and in obvious discomfort, sleeping only snippets at a time, and mostly on top of me.  I was aware that with this being our last child who will be in my arms that moments like these are precious, however unplanned and inconvenient they seem at the time.

Later in the day I gave in to the realization that Nico just truly sleeps better while in contact with me.  So with my back aching I headed to the grocery store and upon my return proceeded to cook dinner in the morning.  I felt so accomplished, especially knowing that it would bring peace and ease to all of our lives come 5:30.

The next moment occurred upon my my walk to pick up Kai from school.  The sun shone, the birds sang and so many vivid flowers were in bloom.  A brightness in a run of rainy Vancouver days, in a season of overcast skies.  It was appreciated.

A day of saying yes to just being and enjoying.

Ode to Technology

I could write a poem here, but let's face it - I've been up since 3:30 a.m. and it would not be pretty.  So instead I will just say a few thank yous.

Thank you to...my bathroom fan for calming Nico down when nothing else works, and even when something else might work, the fan is much faster.

Thank  you to... my smart phone for entertaining me both during middle of the night feeds and on the occasion that Nico falls asleep on me and I don't, for the love of sanity, dare wake him up.

Thank you to...the invention of the baby carrier.  It has not only given my sweet baby a place to nap for long hours but has allowed me to feed him while walking Kai to school, wash some dishes and get some writing down.  Yes, my back is killing me, but it is a small price to pay for some quiet, personal time.  (Note: not really sure if this one qualifies for technology, but I'm thankful nonetheless.)

Thank you to...our new dishwasher.  Yes, we overwork you, but you have our undying love.

Lastly, for now, thank you to...our computer and the invention of the world wide web, for bringing me Netflix to add some variety to what can sometimes be a monotonous (although taxing) day.

Technology, oh
technology, thank you for the peace you bring to my life.

The Bonds of Motherhood

It seems that I am drawn to a sense of community.  I spent my graduate studies continually returning to the importance of community in schools and classrooms.  On a weekly basis at least I return to or have a visit from a member of my close-knit family.  And I never underestimate the power of my community of parents.

Today I went for tea with a girlfriend I met just over five years ago in a prenatal class. We were in labour at the same time in the same hospital. She is one of the eight of us I refer to as my Mama's Group. Two of the gals weren't in our original prenatal class and some others were but we haven't seen them in years. Regardless, this group of women have become my heroes. They have gone from strangers to the people I desperately text when I need a sanity break or a night out. We have laughed together, cried on each other's shoulders, worked out together and had too many drinks together. Yes, we all have other social circles but we are there for each other when it counts. We have always valued the relationships we have built as a group, but I have come once again to realize how blessed I am to have them in my life since the birth of my second child. As I was the last one of us to have a second child, they already knew how important it was to have a meal train set up and were the first to sign up to bring us dinner after we got home from the hospital. When they visit with a gift for my newborn they also bring one for my five year old or take him out for a play date so he can have some attention and we can rest. They pass on lessons they had learned from having multiple children. They meet me for tea when I need to talk to someone who knows what I am going through.

They started as my Mom's Group but are now women whom I admire, trust and love like sisters. Ladies, you are amazing and I am so lucky to call you my friends.

Saying yes to this moment

I am joining Liz Lamoreux in her 10 day blog adventure to saying yes to this moment. Life is full right now, learning to adapt to another huge change with the addition of another sweet little boy and the start of kindergarten for the big one. It is easy to get lost in the chaos of it all. So for at least the next ten days I am going to try to enjoy every moment, even the challenging ones. 


Yesterday, on day 1, we were encouraged to just breathe. Today the moment to remember is in the photo. Another rainy fall day and I was on my way home from our daily journey to take Kai to school with Nico in the stroller. I have just recently begun making a thermos of hot chocolate to drink when we get to Kai's school, as it is a good length walk in the cold and rain and Kai needs something to keep him going. This morning we had run out of milk so we decided to leave a bit earlier and get one from a nearby cafe. As kids do, Kai was dawdling and enjoying sipping his special drink. At his pace we would be late for school. Amidst the continual reminders for kai to "Hurry up or we'd be late," I reminded myself to say yes to the moment and enjoy Kai's contentment. Aaahhh... much more peaceful now.

 After dropping him off (on time, funny enough) I began my walk home. Within five minutes Nico was crying. Any other day I would have felt some anxiety to soothe him, and stopped to put him in the carrier where I know he is happier. However, in the pouring rain this was not an option. Realizing there was no way out of this situation, I calmly reassured us both that everything would be fine and paused to silently embrace the moment. I had on my new rain boots, Nico was cozy in our stroller, the rain was soothing and refreshing, and the grass beside me was a vivid green. I was calm in what would have been an emotional storm with my first born. It felt amazing.