My Sweet Husband

I am not sure how to start this but with a heartfelt thank you.  We/I have had many big transitions and milestones this year and you have more than helped me celebrate them.  I know you are not someone who feels the need or desire to celebrate for yourself and you somehow married a woman (and into a family) who celebrates every little moment.  I imagine it must seem a bit over the top at times. However this only makes it SO much more meaningful and touching when you go out of your way to make my moments special.

You volunteered to stay home with the boys when we were invited to Sophia's wedding in New Orleans rather than coming with me so that I could have some girl time.

You surprised me by planning an amazing weekend in Whistler on our 10th wedding anniversary.  There is nothing better than not having to plan a thing.  This was a luxurious gift in itself.

You took me out for a night on the town on the evening of our actual anniversary date and allowed me to choose where to eat and drink and walk on a whim.  It was such a fun and spontaneous night and I loved every moment.

And then there was my 40th birthday...

And driving the kids to daycare every morning...

And giving me quiet time when I need it...

And making dinner on the weekends...

And so much more.

Thank you for all you do for me and our boys.  Thank you.

40 Years of Blessings and Adventures...and some musings on life today.

This morning I spontaneously took the day off work to take care of my health.  It needed to be done.  Although I would not say that I am stressed out, the daily stressors of life creep up silently and some days just need to be quiet and full of self-care.  This morning this first began with having some time with Kai before he headed off to school, making the beginnings of a winter wardrobe for his Owl (stuffie).  We cut a piece of dashing fabric to make a scarf and then Kai decided Owl needed a Santa hat.  This was followed by a chiropractic appointment for both of us while Marc dropped Nico of at daycare.  Apparently this is what to doctor should have ordered for both of us.  Kai had an adult sized adjustment and before mine one of my legs was almost one inch longer than the other.  Say what?!? What does that even mean?  Thanks to the brilliant Dr. Janelle I walked away with balance.  The scary thing is that even though I knew my lower back was tight, I had no idea how badly it had affected the rest of my body.  And believe me, after years of chiropractic care, I should know better. Famous last words.

After making a quick trip to a cafe for a morning tea for me and cinnamon bun for my sweet boy, I dropped him off at school and my mind began to churn: now that my body was more in alignment, perhaps it was time to look at the rest of my life.  Now this is not a dramatic thing as it is for some but rather part of who I am.  A blessing and a curse, self-reflection needs to have a huge allotment of time in my life.  Working full time, parenting two young boys and finding space for generally addressing daily needs, never mind self-care and socializing, doesn't leave much room for self-reflection,  I am constantly trying to find balance.

In the midst of our wonderful morning Kai asked me if I could pick him up early today.  I responded with, "Sorry, buddy, I am going to the gym today."  When he finally understood why he couldn't come with me, he replied, "Can't you go to the gym when Daddy is home?"  Oh, my little buddy your Daddy suggested that same idea months ago.  Perhaps it is time to listen.  Oddly enough, in my mind rushing to the gym right after work was a sacrifice I was willing to make so we could all be home together in the evening.  Apparently this rushing business and late arrival home doesn't really work for anyone.  Sadly it took me months to realize this, but we all do things in our own time, don't we?  What I know about myself is that I need some 'trying things out' and then some space to really process if it is what I/we really want before I am able to hear what other people are saying to me.  Again, the need for personal reflection can sometimes be a blessing or a curse.  It never means I don't hear what people are saying or respect others' opinions, but simply that I need to run it by my own little tribe of beliefs, values, desires and needs also.  So yes, Kai, next time you ask I hope to be able to say, "I can't wait to pick you up early!", even though I know you will be running to your friend's house as soon as we walk through the door.  Happy kids make a happy mom.

Work versus Home and Family

When I gave birth to both my boys, they had the foresight to be born at the end of summer.  What that meant for me as a teacher was that I got two months of holiday before they were born and then a full year of maternity leave afterward.  Yes, I know, I am spoiled.  Thank you Canada and the Vancouver School Board.  Upon returning to work we had a challenging time finding childcare, so I ended up staying home one day per week and working four days.  It was a beautiful thing.  I got to be around for Kai's first year of school on maternity leave then I was able to still check in and support him once a week in Grade One.  All the kids at school know Nico and he is part of the community.  I felt connected to the community too and have made some good 'mom friends' through school.

Now that both boys are settled into good care and I have a new teaching job, I am working full-time. As a type A personality, being in my classroom full time is easier somehow than sharing work space and a vision for the year.  Or so I thought.  In the search for a more inspired, collaborative work environment, I found the perfect situation...at UBC, unfortunately a long commute from home in after work traffic.  With a new position at a literally new school, teaching a new grade level the new government curriculum, all with a new team in a new type of educational setting and a population of largely ELL learners, my work is FULL ON.  The challenge suits me and interests me and I love that I am growing and learning and improving every day.  What doesn't work for me is being away from my kids so much.  I know, everyone does it, but that doesn't mean we want to or we should.  Don't get me wrong, teaching is my calling and I do not want to give it up, I just want to find balance.  I want to be there for my boys and know what is happening in their lives.  Go on field trips with them and have playdates.  Whisk them away from school or daycare early to go on an adventure, just because.  I know what you are thinking: You have so many holidays.  (Just so you know, I am on a 10-month salary).  You get off work at 3 pm, so you have lots of time with you kids.  Wrong.  Yes, I get off earlier in theory than many jobs.  But I also work before and after school for hours because I take pride in my work.  By the time I get home with the kids, it is time to rapidly throw together some dinner for my instantly ravenous children, eat, clean up and do dishes, make lunches for tomorrow, do a bunch of menial tasks and then put them to bed before I sit on the couch and breathe.

I am not complaining, although I may seem like I am.  I know all of this needs to happen and everyone does it.  I know it seems like nobody has time anymore.  What I am questioning is the why.  I know it drives my husband batty when I think that I can have my cake and eat it too.  The fact is that I honestly think I can most of the time with some creative thinking and help.  I think we all can.  I know it drives my personal trainer crazy when I call last minute to cancel an appointment because something has come up.  I get it.  I can be frustrating and seemingly selfish.  (However, I do still have to pay her and she gets an extra hour free!)  Maybe I am, but the way I see it, we only live once.  We need to follow our hearts and our dreams.  All of us.  We need to find ways to support each other to live our biggest lives possible, whether that means living quietly in the company of our closest friends and family or taking the world by storm.

My 40 years on this planet have been filled with blessings and adventures, big and small.  My freedom.  My family. My boys. My friends.  My travels.  And yes, I want more.

Feast of Gratitude and Celebration: October Long Weekend 2015

The soul always desires that which will most reveal it's true nature.

-Danielle LaPorte

October 11th is my 40th birthday.  The following day is Thanksgiving.  Last month was my tenth wedding anniversary.  In September I start a new job, an opportunity that matches up almost perfectly with a desires list that I brainstormed less than a year ago but I have been dreaming up for years.  I am a dreamer, always have been and always will be.  It works for me.  

Clarity creates simplicity.

 As you know, I am also planner.  Planner + dreamer = amazing opportunities.  Over the years my dreams have gotten bigger, but as I have become more patient with them, they are also much clearer.  As amazing Danielle says yet again (she must be my new guru), clarity creates simplicity.  I believe the universe, like Santa Claus, finds it easier to deliver when it knows precise details.  Does it always deliver exactly as I have dreamed, in the same manner and timing I desire?  Not usually, but as Mama Gena likes to say in response to a desire, "So shall it be or something even better."  Often it is something better.  Like that girls' weekend in Seattle that was surreal it was so fun.  Or my amazing trip to New Orleans for Sophia's wedding that was adventure upon adventure.  Or on an even larger scale, bringing my boys into the world.  Now that was a journey into some tough places that I never would have chosen to go, but on the other end of it I have the two most amazing boys I could ever dream of.  They are my 'something even better' a hundred-fold.

So where am I going with this post?  TO A PARTY, OF COURSE!

What is better than my birthday and Thanksgiving on the same weekend? Celebrating en masse with my friends and family!  Okay, for real, this is nothing I have planned out or discussed with my husband yet.  (Note: Although when we briefly discussed where we were having Thanksgiving dinner this year, as we share years between our two families, and I mentioned that it was also my birthday weekend, he did say that something to the effect of me getting to choose what we did that weekend.)  Thanks, love!

So here is the dream...

Imagine a beautiful, sunny, warm October day turning into a crisp but comfortable evening.  Perhaps a light breeze.  (Hey, if I'm going to dream, I might as well ask for the perfect weather too!)  All my friends and family amazingly have their family Thanksgiving celebrations on a different day so they are free to attend.  (Again, a girl can dream.)  We are in a backyard garden that is big enough to hold us and our playing children, but is still intimate.  There is one long table that I have had help decorating to look beautiful.  Definitely there are candles for the evening and fresh cut flowers.  The turkey is cooked by my dearest husband and everyone has brought a side dish, appetizer or dessert to share.  Perhaps drinks are in the Canooler (canoe + ice = cooler, reminiscent of our wedding).  A few of my old students, Sarah and Savannah, are around to look after the younger kids when needed.  The adults are hanging out, having a drink, and simply having a good, relaxed time.  The meal is delicious, gratitudes are shared and bellies are full.

As it turns to evening, a movie is turned on for the kiddies, they are given a snack and the adults continue to relax with cold drinks or hot tea and coffee, and my tiramisu birthday cake is brought out for all to enjoy under the string of lights weaving back and forth across the back yard.

Over the course of the day, we have all been writing our desires and gratitudes on little slips of paper and putting them in a glass bowl in a simple ritual to honour ourselves and the birthday girl's love of such things.

So what now?

I would love for this all to happen with ease.  I will take all help, advice, input, offerings of resources and know-how, and of course someone to plan the event itself. <wink>  

In all seriousness, some of the logistics of this seem a bit sketchy, but who I am to say it isn't possible?!  Our back yard perhaps isn't big enough, or perhaps it is.  It may rain (we are in Vancouver, after all), so need a plan for that too... a beautiful room with glass windows looking out onto nature sounds great although I don't want this to become an expensive event in the least.

Anyhow, I will finish as I started, with a quote from Danielle LaPorte that I am going to make about my loved ones an my Feast of Gratitude and Celebration:

You are important.

You are incredible.

You are loved.

Your presence is needed here.

(in the world, but also at my feast) ;)

2015-2016

There is so much I want to do and see, so here are a few for the next year.  (Note, in the house of a school teacher with two August babies, the year always begins at the end of summer vacation.)

• weekly snowboarding with Marc
• Kai ski lessons (should be free)
• build boys a tree house in the back yard
• trip to NYC with the girls

Embracing the Wild

Those of you who know me know that I am not wild by any stretch of the imagination.  There have been glimpses, moments of craziness, usually when I am out drinking or dancing, but they are not the norm.  I grew up in a small town on the conservative side, in a family with strong values of responsibility and making good choices.  I chose to become an elementary school teacher, which comes with its own expectation to follow the straight and narrow.  Now don't get me wrong, I love my town, my family and my career.  I wouldn't change any of them.  I have led a blessed life in so many ways, that is for sure.  But now it is time to embrace a little of the wild...

Perhaps it was the recent trip to New Orleans with its voodoo and celebration of the mystical or the many friends of mine who acknowledge the spiritual world with ease and comfort, but I am beginning to feel a pull towards a new exploration of these worlds.  No, I am not intending to practice black magic or put pins in a doll of any kind.  I simply want to learn more and bravely dip a toe in the water to see what where it takes me.  Perhaps that will simply mean reading a book on the subject, watching some more Outlander ;), or doing another sweat lodge with a more open mind than I had the last time.  I am curious and believe in there being something more than what we can see, but I do not know what.  I know I have some faith in the law of attraction, and that by simply writing down my desires (and not even necessarily sharing them) they are more likely to show up for me.  That I am sure of.

I wasn't brought up religious although my parents were always open to me attending different churches or learning about different belief systems.  I have traveled, lived and learned enough to know that the majority of the human race has faith in something greater.  Lately, the mystical world  is showing up in my dreams, in conversations and is simply on my radar.  Who am I to ignore it?  I have gotten this far in life and created so much I am proud of and love by trusting my instinct and following my heart. Where will this lead?

Where are you in your life in relation to the spiritual?  How open are you?  I would love to hear your stories...

My baby at 21 months

Although I rarely have a chance to sit down and write these days, my absence is a sign of being present - with my boys, in my home, at my work, out with my friends and family.  My boys never fail to entertain me, whether it is a dance party in the living room or a simple 'adventure' in the neighbourhood.  Here is a quick snapshot of life in the Uchida house. (One day I will add pictures, but today is not that day.)

Nico:

1.  Loves his big brother to the moon and back.  He is a mini Kai, spending any time they are together either following him around or copying him....for better or worse.

2.  Cars, trains and balls: yes, he is a stereotypical boy.  He is rarely without one (or in the case of cars and trains, 3 of these) at all times.

3.  Buggy: He is endlessly talking about buggies.  When he arrives at daycare in the morning, this is without fail his dialogue: "April. Buggy. Marcus. Jakob."  When he is dropped off at my classroom at the end of the day, he runs in and immediately points back to the stroller he came in and informs me, "Buggy."  When he needs to go outside and he is not up for a walk: "Buggy ride?"  And then there is his need to push something around, inside or out - a stroller, the play shopping car, the lawn mower.  Yes, he must be on the move.

4.  Nico is always running.  It is very rare to see him walk.  Thank goodness he knows he needs to stop and hold my hand before crossing the road!  "Hand.  Cross road.  Cars."

5.  Night night.  Oh how we enjoys playing nap time.  Although the phase has mostly passed that he actually needs to be lifted into his crib to play night night, he still enjoys pulling out his blanket and pretending on the floor.

6. NO.  For the past few months, his 'no response' has become more frequent.  Sometimes it is the polite 'no thank you' and sometimes it is a proper short answer to a question we have asked him, but it is also the firm, stubborn, "No, I won't do that and don't even bother thinking otherwise." (Obviously those aren't his words this time, just his whole attitude).  Lucky we are for now, however, that his no is a simple, calm, matter of fact response and it rarely comes with physical defiance.  That is yet to come I am sure.

7.  Independent.  Kai was always close at hand and did not like to be separated from a trusted adult for very long, even within the house. Not Nico.  From the time he could navigate stairs, he was playing for short times on his own...outside in the backyard, up in his room reading a book or down in the basement playing with his car garage.  When Nico runs ahead on the sidewalk, he turns around with a cheeky grin on his face and you just know that he is fine on his own, thank you very much.  Hugs and cuddles?  Rarely.  Sad when we leave the house without him?  For a few minutes.  He will drum to his own beat that boy.

8. Sharing.  For a child who has never gone to group daycare, he is amazing at sharing.  Sure, he occasionally wails out a 'MINE!' when Kai takes away a car he was playing with, but so should he.  He is fine if you 'trade' him for something else, and if someone is sad, he will often offer them something he thinks will make them feel better.  Recently when Kai was upset, he offered him rice (just verbally, not a handful), the car that was in his hand and a blanket.  He is very sweet that way.

9.  Napping.  Yes, he is still napping for a good few hours every day.  Thank you, my angel.

10.  Talking.  Yes, he inherited the talking gene and will soon be fighting Kai for talking time.  He is fascinated with learning new words and asks over and over again for names of objects and people.  He is also using three or 4 words 'sentences' to get points across.  He is one expressive kid.

11.  Cheeky/silly...always looking to entertain and happy to do it.  He is very easygoing and loves to make us laugh.

12.  Dancing and Music.  Like most kids, he loves his 'mukic' and ask for it daily.  He prefers dance music above all and is rapidly copying his brother's hip hop and break dancing moves and inventing his own.  When we walk by a store with music, he has to pause and get a few moves in before we move on.  He also has started singing Wheels on the Bus and the Sesame Street song 'sunny days', as well as the Gummi Bear song and a few others from Kai's dance mix that is endlessly playing.

First Adventures

How the universe shows up to support you when you make your desires clear... A quick update on my adventures so far.

1.  Whistler with the girls:

For Kirsten's birthday, five went up to her family's condo in Whistler - Kirsten, me, Damiani, Michelle and Sarah.  To make a long story short, here are some beautiful moments:

a. Driving up the Sea to Sky highway alone, in silence or with fun music, watching the sunset appear over the mountains and ocean.  I am so blessed to live in such a gorgeous part of the country.

Not my shot, but captures the drive perfectly.

b. Arriving at an empty condo and having time to myself, looking out over the dense forest, to simply breathe and write in my own space.  I need more of this time in my life.

2. Sleeping in and going to Scandinave Spa.  www.scandinave.com/en/whistler/
 3 hours of complete silence on a gorgeous day, from a hot room (sauna, steam room, hot tub) to a quick cool down in a glacier shower or pool, followed by relaxation in a lounge looking out in the midst of the mountains.  Bliss.


. 



3. Going out dancing with the girls - pool sharking Michelle and letting go on the dance floor.  Amazing.

4. Vancouver Mysteries http://www.vancouvermysteries.com/


2 hours running around Gastown, following clues to solve a mystery.  My kind of fun.  I just wish I would have brought a camera as there were so many great views of historical and modern Vancouver.  Thanks, Tanya!

5. Trapped Escape Room with Brad and Erin.


I have done these rooms three times now, but I could seriously go every month.  I love sleuthing!  Perhaps all those years of reading Cam Jansen, The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew had a lasting effect.

6.  Free UBC Theatre Experience with Marc:  A university friend of Marc's is a theatre professor and producer.  He is doing a study into rehearsal strategies and how they effect the audience.  We watched a play, responded on a clicker throughout the play when we connected to a certain theme we were given and then did a short survey at the end.  It was set in Newfoundland after The Battle of the Somme and had two actors.  It was a great way to spend a few hours, enjoying a play and helping out at the same time.  Should you be interested, there is another production next weekend.  Check it out here: https://www.facebook.com/events/883013158438265/

Not only have I been on these adventures, more have been planned and booked!  Check back for updates on these ones:

• New Orleans for Sophia's wedding: weekend of June 5th
• possibly the Aquarium After Dark: this Thursday, May 28th
• RUSH Race and Urban Scavenger Hunt: July 11th
• Dave Matthews Band concert at The Gorge: September

If any more adventures arrive and you think of me, please let me know!

40 Before 40

Recently I have been wanting to embrace life's adventures.  In a quick Facebook post I made note of this as I was sharing how excited I was to have gotten tickets to see the Dave Matthews Band at The Gorge.  As a result of an impromptu road trip in my twenties with some friends from back east (Montreal), seeing a concert at The Gorge had landed itself on my Life List.  Until my sister texted me an invite to this concert, I had all but forgotten this desire.  So back to the Facebook post...in a comment I threw out a thought that maybe since my 40th birthday was arriving in October, I would open myself up to the idea of 40 adventures before 40 quest.  This comment has gotten a lot of play time in conversations and email with friends recently, so rather than it become a 'mission to complete' (which really seems to take the fun out of it), I am going to see what comes across my radar, so to speak, and see what the universe has to offer me. 

Now those of you who know me well also know that I am a planner.  I have fought it and tried to let it go many times, but it is simply who I am and it makes my life much more stress-free and enjoyable.  That said, the planning side of me needs to be invited to this quest as well.  I am going to invite it to share it's ideas (Is it weird I am talking about it like it is it's own person?) and create a desires list.  Those who know me also know that I LOVE to make lists and desires lists are at the top of the pecking order.  Back to the plan...whenever something from my list (or an alternate super-fun opportunity) presents itself, I am going to book it right away into my monthly calender (after running it by my wonderful husband, of course). 

Anyone who wants to play with me on this quest, you are officially invited!  (Again, aforementioned husband gets first dibs.)

Let the games begin!  Next step, tune in for my 40 Before 40 desires list.

The Adventure of Life

It has been a long time since I have sat down and the computer to just write.  I write for school, in my journal, grocery lists, to do lists, emails and texts, but nothing is like writing to reflect on the moment.  I just finished watching season one of Departures, a Netflix series about two 27 year old men who leave everything for a year and travel the world.  I have done my fair share of traveling and am blessed to have had so many amazing moments in my life.  However, watching others explore the world has sparked another fire in me to live my life to the fullest, both appreciating everything I have and also continually opening myself to experience the new.

In October I turn 40.  For some reason 40 sounds old to me.  When my parents were 40 I had already graduated from high school and was living on my own.  My husband and many of my friends have passed this milestone year, but it never hit me what an affect it would have on me to leave my thirties.  Does it really mean anything?  Yes, it is just a number.  I am not sure why it is a big deal but I feel like I did right after I had my first child, sort of in shock.  It was literally unbelievable that I had a baby.  I knew my whole life had changed in that moment.  Will my whole life change at 40?  Absolutely not, unless I want it to.  Somehow I envision my life coming closer to it's end and I have an urge to embrace and live every single moment because I am realizing it won't last forever.  A mid-life crisis?  I don't think so.  More like I am growing up and coming to understand that I choose who I am and what my life looks like and feels like; questioning every decision - Is this really important?  Is this really want in my life?  If not, then why am I choosing it?  If the answer is yes, why am I not choosing it? Perhaps closing in on 40 is what created this desire or perhaps it is coincidental.  All I know is that from this point out I want to consciously choose my life.

What does choosing one's life look like?  Today it meant getting outside with my 18 month old and simply exploring.  No plans, no destination, just simply seeing where our neighbourhood walk took us.  The few hours we were out reminded me how incredible my little boy is.  Always a smile on his face. Playing games, running everywhere he goes, constantly making others happy with his playfulness and easygoing nature.  We walked, we stopped on what seemed like every bench, fence, step and corner to have a sit and watch cars...and it was amazing.  How I love my sweet Nico.

What does choosing my life mean from this point on?  It means getting clear on what lights me up from the inside and going that direction every single time.  It means finding that light and joy and bringing it to the necessary day to day actions.  It may mean some hard decisions and awkward or scary conversations, for breaking out of the safety of routine is not always easy.  I do not know fully what it means, but I do know that it excites me.  I know that every day I want my family and my good friends by my side enjoying this wonderful opportunity called life together.  What lights you up?  I would love to know!