Embracing the Wild

Those of you who know me know that I am not wild by any stretch of the imagination.  There have been glimpses, moments of craziness, usually when I am out drinking or dancing, but they are not the norm.  I grew up in a small town on the conservative side, in a family with strong values of responsibility and making good choices.  I chose to become an elementary school teacher, which comes with its own expectation to follow the straight and narrow.  Now don't get me wrong, I love my town, my family and my career.  I wouldn't change any of them.  I have led a blessed life in so many ways, that is for sure.  But now it is time to embrace a little of the wild...

Perhaps it was the recent trip to New Orleans with its voodoo and celebration of the mystical or the many friends of mine who acknowledge the spiritual world with ease and comfort, but I am beginning to feel a pull towards a new exploration of these worlds.  No, I am not intending to practice black magic or put pins in a doll of any kind.  I simply want to learn more and bravely dip a toe in the water to see what where it takes me.  Perhaps that will simply mean reading a book on the subject, watching some more Outlander ;), or doing another sweat lodge with a more open mind than I had the last time.  I am curious and believe in there being something more than what we can see, but I do not know what.  I know I have some faith in the law of attraction, and that by simply writing down my desires (and not even necessarily sharing them) they are more likely to show up for me.  That I am sure of.

I wasn't brought up religious although my parents were always open to me attending different churches or learning about different belief systems.  I have traveled, lived and learned enough to know that the majority of the human race has faith in something greater.  Lately, the mystical world  is showing up in my dreams, in conversations and is simply on my radar.  Who am I to ignore it?  I have gotten this far in life and created so much I am proud of and love by trusting my instinct and following my heart. Where will this lead?

Where are you in your life in relation to the spiritual?  How open are you?  I would love to hear your stories...

My baby at 21 months

Although I rarely have a chance to sit down and write these days, my absence is a sign of being present - with my boys, in my home, at my work, out with my friends and family.  My boys never fail to entertain me, whether it is a dance party in the living room or a simple 'adventure' in the neighbourhood.  Here is a quick snapshot of life in the Uchida house. (One day I will add pictures, but today is not that day.)

Nico:

1.  Loves his big brother to the moon and back.  He is a mini Kai, spending any time they are together either following him around or copying him....for better or worse.

2.  Cars, trains and balls: yes, he is a stereotypical boy.  He is rarely without one (or in the case of cars and trains, 3 of these) at all times.

3.  Buggy: He is endlessly talking about buggies.  When he arrives at daycare in the morning, this is without fail his dialogue: "April. Buggy. Marcus. Jakob."  When he is dropped off at my classroom at the end of the day, he runs in and immediately points back to the stroller he came in and informs me, "Buggy."  When he needs to go outside and he is not up for a walk: "Buggy ride?"  And then there is his need to push something around, inside or out - a stroller, the play shopping car, the lawn mower.  Yes, he must be on the move.

4.  Nico is always running.  It is very rare to see him walk.  Thank goodness he knows he needs to stop and hold my hand before crossing the road!  "Hand.  Cross road.  Cars."

5.  Night night.  Oh how we enjoys playing nap time.  Although the phase has mostly passed that he actually needs to be lifted into his crib to play night night, he still enjoys pulling out his blanket and pretending on the floor.

6. NO.  For the past few months, his 'no response' has become more frequent.  Sometimes it is the polite 'no thank you' and sometimes it is a proper short answer to a question we have asked him, but it is also the firm, stubborn, "No, I won't do that and don't even bother thinking otherwise." (Obviously those aren't his words this time, just his whole attitude).  Lucky we are for now, however, that his no is a simple, calm, matter of fact response and it rarely comes with physical defiance.  That is yet to come I am sure.

7.  Independent.  Kai was always close at hand and did not like to be separated from a trusted adult for very long, even within the house. Not Nico.  From the time he could navigate stairs, he was playing for short times on his own...outside in the backyard, up in his room reading a book or down in the basement playing with his car garage.  When Nico runs ahead on the sidewalk, he turns around with a cheeky grin on his face and you just know that he is fine on his own, thank you very much.  Hugs and cuddles?  Rarely.  Sad when we leave the house without him?  For a few minutes.  He will drum to his own beat that boy.

8. Sharing.  For a child who has never gone to group daycare, he is amazing at sharing.  Sure, he occasionally wails out a 'MINE!' when Kai takes away a car he was playing with, but so should he.  He is fine if you 'trade' him for something else, and if someone is sad, he will often offer them something he thinks will make them feel better.  Recently when Kai was upset, he offered him rice (just verbally, not a handful), the car that was in his hand and a blanket.  He is very sweet that way.

9.  Napping.  Yes, he is still napping for a good few hours every day.  Thank you, my angel.

10.  Talking.  Yes, he inherited the talking gene and will soon be fighting Kai for talking time.  He is fascinated with learning new words and asks over and over again for names of objects and people.  He is also using three or 4 words 'sentences' to get points across.  He is one expressive kid.

11.  Cheeky/silly...always looking to entertain and happy to do it.  He is very easygoing and loves to make us laugh.

12.  Dancing and Music.  Like most kids, he loves his 'mukic' and ask for it daily.  He prefers dance music above all and is rapidly copying his brother's hip hop and break dancing moves and inventing his own.  When we walk by a store with music, he has to pause and get a few moves in before we move on.  He also has started singing Wheels on the Bus and the Sesame Street song 'sunny days', as well as the Gummi Bear song and a few others from Kai's dance mix that is endlessly playing.

First Adventures

How the universe shows up to support you when you make your desires clear... A quick update on my adventures so far.

1.  Whistler with the girls:

For Kirsten's birthday, five went up to her family's condo in Whistler - Kirsten, me, Damiani, Michelle and Sarah.  To make a long story short, here are some beautiful moments:

a. Driving up the Sea to Sky highway alone, in silence or with fun music, watching the sunset appear over the mountains and ocean.  I am so blessed to live in such a gorgeous part of the country.

Not my shot, but captures the drive perfectly.

b. Arriving at an empty condo and having time to myself, looking out over the dense forest, to simply breathe and write in my own space.  I need more of this time in my life.

2. Sleeping in and going to Scandinave Spa.  www.scandinave.com/en/whistler/
 3 hours of complete silence on a gorgeous day, from a hot room (sauna, steam room, hot tub) to a quick cool down in a glacier shower or pool, followed by relaxation in a lounge looking out in the midst of the mountains.  Bliss.


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3. Going out dancing with the girls - pool sharking Michelle and letting go on the dance floor.  Amazing.

4. Vancouver Mysteries http://www.vancouvermysteries.com/


2 hours running around Gastown, following clues to solve a mystery.  My kind of fun.  I just wish I would have brought a camera as there were so many great views of historical and modern Vancouver.  Thanks, Tanya!

5. Trapped Escape Room with Brad and Erin.


I have done these rooms three times now, but I could seriously go every month.  I love sleuthing!  Perhaps all those years of reading Cam Jansen, The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew had a lasting effect.

6.  Free UBC Theatre Experience with Marc:  A university friend of Marc's is a theatre professor and producer.  He is doing a study into rehearsal strategies and how they effect the audience.  We watched a play, responded on a clicker throughout the play when we connected to a certain theme we were given and then did a short survey at the end.  It was set in Newfoundland after The Battle of the Somme and had two actors.  It was a great way to spend a few hours, enjoying a play and helping out at the same time.  Should you be interested, there is another production next weekend.  Check it out here: https://www.facebook.com/events/883013158438265/

Not only have I been on these adventures, more have been planned and booked!  Check back for updates on these ones:

• New Orleans for Sophia's wedding: weekend of June 5th
• possibly the Aquarium After Dark: this Thursday, May 28th
• RUSH Race and Urban Scavenger Hunt: July 11th
• Dave Matthews Band concert at The Gorge: September

If any more adventures arrive and you think of me, please let me know!

40 Before 40

Recently I have been wanting to embrace life's adventures.  In a quick Facebook post I made note of this as I was sharing how excited I was to have gotten tickets to see the Dave Matthews Band at The Gorge.  As a result of an impromptu road trip in my twenties with some friends from back east (Montreal), seeing a concert at The Gorge had landed itself on my Life List.  Until my sister texted me an invite to this concert, I had all but forgotten this desire.  So back to the Facebook post...in a comment I threw out a thought that maybe since my 40th birthday was arriving in October, I would open myself up to the idea of 40 adventures before 40 quest.  This comment has gotten a lot of play time in conversations and email with friends recently, so rather than it become a 'mission to complete' (which really seems to take the fun out of it), I am going to see what comes across my radar, so to speak, and see what the universe has to offer me. 

Now those of you who know me well also know that I am a planner.  I have fought it and tried to let it go many times, but it is simply who I am and it makes my life much more stress-free and enjoyable.  That said, the planning side of me needs to be invited to this quest as well.  I am going to invite it to share it's ideas (Is it weird I am talking about it like it is it's own person?) and create a desires list.  Those who know me also know that I LOVE to make lists and desires lists are at the top of the pecking order.  Back to the plan...whenever something from my list (or an alternate super-fun opportunity) presents itself, I am going to book it right away into my monthly calender (after running it by my wonderful husband, of course). 

Anyone who wants to play with me on this quest, you are officially invited!  (Again, aforementioned husband gets first dibs.)

Let the games begin!  Next step, tune in for my 40 Before 40 desires list.

The Adventure of Life

It has been a long time since I have sat down and the computer to just write.  I write for school, in my journal, grocery lists, to do lists, emails and texts, but nothing is like writing to reflect on the moment.  I just finished watching season one of Departures, a Netflix series about two 27 year old men who leave everything for a year and travel the world.  I have done my fair share of traveling and am blessed to have had so many amazing moments in my life.  However, watching others explore the world has sparked another fire in me to live my life to the fullest, both appreciating everything I have and also continually opening myself to experience the new.

In October I turn 40.  For some reason 40 sounds old to me.  When my parents were 40 I had already graduated from high school and was living on my own.  My husband and many of my friends have passed this milestone year, but it never hit me what an affect it would have on me to leave my thirties.  Does it really mean anything?  Yes, it is just a number.  I am not sure why it is a big deal but I feel like I did right after I had my first child, sort of in shock.  It was literally unbelievable that I had a baby.  I knew my whole life had changed in that moment.  Will my whole life change at 40?  Absolutely not, unless I want it to.  Somehow I envision my life coming closer to it's end and I have an urge to embrace and live every single moment because I am realizing it won't last forever.  A mid-life crisis?  I don't think so.  More like I am growing up and coming to understand that I choose who I am and what my life looks like and feels like; questioning every decision - Is this really important?  Is this really want in my life?  If not, then why am I choosing it?  If the answer is yes, why am I not choosing it? Perhaps closing in on 40 is what created this desire or perhaps it is coincidental.  All I know is that from this point out I want to consciously choose my life.

What does choosing one's life look like?  Today it meant getting outside with my 18 month old and simply exploring.  No plans, no destination, just simply seeing where our neighbourhood walk took us.  The few hours we were out reminded me how incredible my little boy is.  Always a smile on his face. Playing games, running everywhere he goes, constantly making others happy with his playfulness and easygoing nature.  We walked, we stopped on what seemed like every bench, fence, step and corner to have a sit and watch cars...and it was amazing.  How I love my sweet Nico.

What does choosing my life mean from this point on?  It means getting clear on what lights me up from the inside and going that direction every single time.  It means finding that light and joy and bringing it to the necessary day to day actions.  It may mean some hard decisions and awkward or scary conversations, for breaking out of the safety of routine is not always easy.  I do not know fully what it means, but I do know that it excites me.  I know that every day I want my family and my good friends by my side enjoying this wonderful opportunity called life together.  What lights you up?  I would love to know! 

On the Front Line: Pleasure Research

I return to work on Wednesday but teachers resumed their position on the picket line yesterday, a week before school is due to begin.  We have been reminded not to go into our schools to prepare for the year, despite the government's political move of removing the lockout restrictions for a week so we can do so.  I am angry, at our union and at the government.  I am saddened that it has again come to this.  I have decided to take a stand not only for students and teachers, but for myself.  I met with another teacher and we 'talked shop.'  There, I said it.  I did not stand on the picket line as I am still on maternity leave for another week, but I did not cross the line either.  What I did do was to take care of myself and I plan on doing that every day for this entire school year, job action or not.  I am calling it pleasure research.

I cannot count the number of times I have participated in job action in my fourteen years teaching.  I prefer not to, as that in itself frustrates me.  This time is different.  This time I feel like teachers have been pushed too far.  Although I was home with my newborn, between keeping in touch with colleagues and my teaching family members (there are many of us), having conversations with the staff at my son's school and following the news, I am well aware of the tension and stress this round of 'bargaining' has created.  I use the term bargaining loosely.  The way I see it, I could return to work in two ways: angry and frustrated that I cannot teach in a system that supports it's students or teachers; or determined to find pleasure every step of the way.  I am choosing the latter.  I will not let someone else, in this case the government, determine who I am and how I act.

So this brings me back to my pleasure research.  Due to lockout conditions and then the resulting full-scale strike, teachers left their classrooms without completing their year or preparing for the next year of students.   Typically I spend the month of June, post report-card writing, as well as a few weeks in August getting organized and planning curriculum and methodology for the following year.  Not knowing what is next for me at school and not being able to be organized and planned is, to put it lightly, stress-inducing.   Being told I cannot spend time (my own unpaid time at that) preparing in a manner that will bring me peace does not work for me.  Teachers, at least I, cannot turn off who they are.  So although being on strike means we are not in our classrooms teaching students, we are still educators.  So often my mind is creating and developing new ideas for my teaching.  On holidays or when out with my children, I regularly see things I want to use in my classroom or find myself pondering how I can really harness students' strengths and interests to help them learn.  Whoever said teaching is a lifestyle is true.  It encompasses all areas of my life and it is impossible to turn off.

I love my job.  Teaching is my calling.  Yes, I believe we need to be on strike.  Yes, I will stand on that picket line to fight for adequate funding of our education system.  I will not, however, close off the part of me that loves my job.  I will not shut down my planning mind or stop talking to my colleagues and friends about what excites or challenges me.  I will not allow this fight to harden my heart, just my resolve.  In the midst of this battle and beyond it, I am going to continue to be grateful that I have a job worth fighting for.  A job that calls me to become my better self and allows me the opportunity to see my students find theirs.  In the midst of the struggle for what I believe, I will be proud of what I am doing and remind my colleagues that they make a difference every day they walk through the door at work or refuse to walk through that same door.  In the midst of frustration and anger, I will take dance breaks, write with my treasured stationery, and connect with those who bring me laughter.  Every day I will research and practice pleasure in its smallest and greatest forms.  Who wants to join me?

To Parents of My Students

Dear Parents,

As the start of school looms and the conflict between teachers and government seems no closer to being resolved, I want to make sure you know a few things.  First and most importantly, I need you to know that there is almost nothing I wouldn't do for your child.  Perhaps right now some of you are finding it challenging to believe  me, and I understand that you only want what is best for your child.  As an educator and a parent, I too want what is best.  This is leading me to return from my maternity leave and to go directly to the picket line.  It leads me to find care for my own children while I go to stand up for all of our children.  It urges me to give up my own salary to fight for a good future.

I know that this job action has happened before, and many think us selfish and greedy.  I need you to know that yes, I think it is important that educators have good wages and working conditions.  (I also know that this just hit a nerve with many of you reading this, and your blood is beginning to boil.)  However, salary is not the contentious issue in negotiating.  In fact, this is one issue on which both sides seem to be fairly close to agreeing.  It is your child I am fighting for now.  Apart from my family, it is your child I know best and care most about.  It is your child I am with often more waking hours than I am with my own.  I chose this path and I will keep choosing it, for it is who I am.

My path as an educator is a complex one, much like parenting.  Like parenting, there is inexplicable joy and heavy heartache.  There is a time for fun and a time to get down to business.  However, it is also simple: I care for my students fiercely and let them know I believe in them and am there for them every single day, just as I do for my own children.  That is why I stand on this picket line.  I believe that all our children deserve more than this government is allowing our education system to give. 

Perhaps this will be yet another round of job action that beats us down, empties our bank accounts and angers the public.  In the face of this possibility, I need to choose strength and hope.  I need to know that I took action to make a change to a system that is eroding.  There is an old adage Never mix business with pleasure.  Teaching IS who I am.  It IS personal.  When the government attacks my students, it attacks me.  So when I stand on the picket line, I am fighting with my heart, not my purse strings.