Last night my son fell asleep curled up in my lap, holding his blanket and snuggling his head into my chest. I felt like he was a baby again and realized how few of these moments I get these days. With my husband doing the bedtime routine in order that I can get some schoolwork and graduate work done and still be able to rise with my son each morning feeling somewhat rested, I am becoming more aware of how precious these moments are.
I chose to do my graduate work before Kai was conceived and I do not regret the choice. I have learned so many valuable lessons and my teaching confidence and skill have grown exponentially. Now I am ready to educationally 'fly on my own' again. I am ready to simplify. I am ready to return my focus more fully on my home and my family. I am ready to have more 'moments' with my son. I miss him.
Every night I go to bed, I have thoughts swirling in my head. Things to do. Scrapbook pages I want to create. Gifts I want to make. Skills I want to learn. And, of course, daily happenings that I don't want to forget, but invariably will by tomorrow morning, only to pop up in a random thought weeks down the road. So, here I am. I may use this blog daily to empty my head and heart before cuddling up in my duvet, or as it may be, I may write in it once a month. Who knows. It is for me, but perhaps something I write or learn may spark a fire in someone else. Perhaps it may quiet a mind or make you feel like you are not alone out there. It is for me. But perhaps it is for you.